Poo On Voters: Four Great Ways the #GOP Protects Us from Voting!

Walker / Poo: Two of a Kind!

Have you ever made a bad decision?

• Did you marry the wrong person?
• Did you buy a car that turned out to be a lemon?
• Do you get your girlfriend pregnant, or have a baby yourself by a guy who turned out to be a total loser?

Of course you have! People like you make big mistakes all the time! So why would you want to vote?
Voting is DANGEROUS!  And yet some people want EVERYONE to vote. But you know this is a mistake. Only the RIGHT people should vote, and that doesn't include you, or anyone like you. Preferably, only rich people should vote  - mostly men in suits with good hair, like you see on TV - because they're rich, so they know better than you what is good for you. Right? It only makes sense!
Luckily, one political party has stood up for your right not to vote, and is working night and day to stop you from voting. That is the Republican Party, the Champion of the Right Not To Vote!
Here are the TOP THREE GREAT THINGS that today's Republican Party is doing to help PROTECT you from the DANGERS of voting!
1. Block College Students from Voting. College students are old enough to die for our country, but letting them vote could result in fewer wars, which would be a disaster! To avoid this danger, states such as Ohio are systematically working to keep students from registering to vote or to use college IDs as proof that they exist. Die for our country: yes! but vote for our leaders: no!

2. Order public officials NOT to help you get a voter ID.  Republican Governor Scott Walker is a TITAN in the fight to suppress voting. His administration ordered public workers NOT to help voters get voter ID ! And then, when a public worker tried to help voters anyway, Walker's team courageously fired him!
3. Criminalize voter registration drives. It used to be that organizations like the League of Women Voters would register people to vote at supermarkets or libraries. What was the result? the wrong people started voting - people who shop in supermakets, instead of having personal shoppers! Fortunately, states like Florida have shut down the League of Women Voters by imposing fines on their registration efforts. This is a great idea, because the league was sometime registering poor people to vote! How sick it that? Remember: if you don't have a job, you should not vote. Voting means you are influencing the course of our nation, and if you're out of work, do you really want that responsibility?
4. Force voters to bring their birth certificate to register to vote. Remember, it says right in the constitution: if you don't have a birth certificate, you don't have the right to vote. Too many people lose their birth certificate over a lifetime of moving place to place (do you know where yours is now?), and with that loss, you lose the right to vote. You still have to pay your taxes but you don't get representation. TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION is a basic American value!
With the help of these amazing Republican initiatives, we can prevent the wrong people from voting - and that probably includes you. People who are too old to drive a car are too old to vote! People who live in a city with good enough public transportation that you don't need a car to get around should not vote!
Government is a big pile of poo, so why not leave it up to people like me who are full of it anyway?

#GOP Support Death As A Choice!

Ron Paul's Faces
A Flaming Bag of Poo!

At tonight's GOP/TeaParty debate in Florida, the moderator asked Ron Paul whether a 30-year-old man who goes into a coma and has no health insurance should get health care, or should just die.
Ron Paul said his advice would be for the man to get health insurance, and denounced the idea of "taking care" of the guy.The moderator insisted on an answer; should we just let the guy die?
The audience replied, "Yeah!"
This is really a very pro-choice position. Everyone choose whether or not to buy health insurance. Some people choose to spend their money on other things, such as food or rent. Some choose to be unemployed, and there are even millions who choose to be mentally ill or physically crippled.
All these things are choices. Mitt Romney chose to be rich, Rick Perry chose to balance Texas' budget with federal "stimulus" money. Santorum chose to have a google problem. Newt Gingrich chose a new, younger, richer wife ... several times ... generally while still married - what could be more pro-choice than that!
Affordable health care is bad because it takes away choices. If you deny the people the choice of being unable to afford medical care, they will be denied the sweet, sweet comfort of the grave and early entrance into the eternal bliss that is the afterlife. So-called Obamacare is nothing more than an attempt to keep people away from their heavenly reward, and should be opposed on that ground alone.
Therefore it is refreshing to see the Republican Tea Party forthrightly agree that a young person with no health insurance should have the freedom to die, rather than endure the suffocating grasp of health care.
America should listen well to these people; if they have their way, you'll be reunited with your dear departed ones as soon as you choose!

Rubio Poo-Poos Healthcare!

Rubio Says: Poo On Healthcare!

Marco Rubio calls Americans "weak" because we have Medicare, Medicaid and other types of healthcare, and he's right.
In the old days, he explained, if you got diabetes or cancer or a broken leg, you didn't have government health care that only made you weak. Instead, you got your family to help out. Your daddy could splint your leg and the guy door next could would give you some good whiskey: problem solved!
You may think I'm full of poo, and you're right, but Rubio really did say,

"These programs weakened us as a people. You see, almost forever, it was institutions in society that assumed the role of taking care of one another.  If someone was sick in your family, you took care of them. If a neighbor met misfortune, you took care of them..."

Rubio is right. The problem with modern medicine it that it relies too much on doctors, pharmaceutical companies, and government. When has a medicine really done anything for you that couldn't be done by your family giving you a slug of whiskey and a bullet to bite on?

Tim Tiny: If You Help Him,
You Weaken America!

In the old days, you might die because your family couldn't afford fancy-dancy medicine. But, well, if it happened ... that was God's will - and the people remaining are stronger without you!

If your kid was born crippled, carving him a crutch only made you stronger! And maybe it would encourage you to go to medical school and learn how to do surgery on his leg, instead of asking the GUMMINT for some prenatal care.
Rubio is Right! get rid of these programs that share the costs of healthcare across our nation! If someone in Louisiana gets diabetes, his family can just make insulin like they did in the old days. If a wave of flu starts carrying off old people in New England, or someone in Florida gets cancer, why should the rest of us care? We as a people are weaker when we save the lives of disease-prone people. MRIs are expensive and cancer-fighting drugs cost way too much!

Only someone who as full of the substance that makes the crops grow could talk like this, and both me and Rubio agree: the problem with health care is that it weakens us!
I therefore WELCOME Marco Rubio to the Republican race for the White House. He would make the perfect vice-presidential candidate.
Vote Poo/Rubio in 2012 to join me in saying: Poo On Medicare!!!