Poo On Voters: Four Great Ways the #GOP Protects Us from Voting!

Walker / Poo: Two of a Kind!

Have you ever made a bad decision?

• Did you marry the wrong person?
• Did you buy a car that turned out to be a lemon?
• Do you get your girlfriend pregnant, or have a baby yourself by a guy who turned out to be a total loser?

Of course you have! People like you make big mistakes all the time! So why would you want to vote?
Voting is DANGEROUS!  And yet some people want EVERYONE to vote. But you know this is a mistake. Only the RIGHT people should vote, and that doesn't include you, or anyone like you. Preferably, only rich people should vote  - mostly men in suits with good hair, like you see on TV - because they're rich, so they know better than you what is good for you. Right? It only makes sense!
Luckily, one political party has stood up for your right not to vote, and is working night and day to stop you from voting. That is the Republican Party, the Champion of the Right Not To Vote!
Here are the TOP THREE GREAT THINGS that today's Republican Party is doing to help PROTECT you from the DANGERS of voting!
1. Block College Students from Voting. College students are old enough to die for our country, but letting them vote could result in fewer wars, which would be a disaster! To avoid this danger, states such as Ohio are systematically working to keep students from registering to vote or to use college IDs as proof that they exist. Die for our country: yes! but vote for our leaders: no!

2. Order public officials NOT to help you get a voter ID.  Republican Governor Scott Walker is a TITAN in the fight to suppress voting. His administration ordered public workers NOT to help voters get voter ID ! And then, when a public worker tried to help voters anyway, Walker's team courageously fired him!
3. Criminalize voter registration drives. It used to be that organizations like the League of Women Voters would register people to vote at supermarkets or libraries. What was the result? the wrong people started voting - people who shop in supermakets, instead of having personal shoppers! Fortunately, states like Florida have shut down the League of Women Voters by imposing fines on their registration efforts. This is a great idea, because the league was sometime registering poor people to vote! How sick it that? Remember: if you don't have a job, you should not vote. Voting means you are influencing the course of our nation, and if you're out of work, do you really want that responsibility?
4. Force voters to bring their birth certificate to register to vote. Remember, it says right in the constitution: if you don't have a birth certificate, you don't have the right to vote. Too many people lose their birth certificate over a lifetime of moving place to place (do you know where yours is now?), and with that loss, you lose the right to vote. You still have to pay your taxes but you don't get representation. TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION is a basic American value!
With the help of these amazing Republican initiatives, we can prevent the wrong people from voting - and that probably includes you. People who are too old to drive a car are too old to vote! People who live in a city with good enough public transportation that you don't need a car to get around should not vote!
Government is a big pile of poo, so why not leave it up to people like me who are full of it anyway?